My Journery to Living clean and staying Clean

cropped-img_5052.jpgWho am I? That is a question I ask myself today. I know that I am Fun. I love my kids. I love to make people smile. I am a people Pleaser. I am very passionate about everything I do. There is no in between for me. I love too hard, I play too hard, everything I do is done with all I have in me. Sometimes that is not a good quality to have, It has gotten me in trouble many times. The one thing I know about myself Today is that I am an addict and I and in recovery today. As My body get clean and free of the shit I have ben putting in my body for many years I am trying to figure out who I am and how the hell to live my life Clean? This is a totally foreign concept for me and it has been not only hard for me , but for the people who live with me as well.

So my new revised  blog is going to be my daily journal , because I want to share this journey with anybody I can to help them or even if they can relate to my story I know that can be helpful as other stories have helped me so much.

My new Clean date today is December 14th, 2012. My original clean date started almost 9 months ago and during that time I would make about 89 days clean and then I feel. I have a few relapses which I will share but I do not intend to fall anymore. I have gained a little more knowledge with each relapse, but I also lost trust again with people who I love the most. I can’t let them down anymore. I can’t Let ME down anymore. It is time to be honest to myself so I can find that person I know I once loved in me. She deserves to be happy and live a full life without having to put something in her body to make her feel a little more comfortable in her own skin.


2 responses

24 01 2013
Robert C. Jameson

Thanks for your share and keep going. It’s a wonderous and precious journey. Robert

24 01 2013

Thank you Robert! And I will never forget what you told me once : ” remember when a person is pointing their finger at you, they are really pointing 3 back at them.” And Robert i know you are probably wondering why I am not writing and burning , but I am doing that as well! I promise! This is just my daily journal so i can share with world…. You know how i have i do that :).
Its been a struggle trying to get clean and live with my husband. If I am honest i should have done a rehab or something. For me, my struggle is always worrying about my marriage and it gets in the way of my recovery. So i have to focus on my recovery !!!!! I know i can stay clean and love a happy life, I am just a little bit slower at these things called growing up.
But I will will do it!

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