A New Day, A New Start

19 06 2012
I woke up today and actually wanted to “get up” I remember how I use to pray I would sleep fast and get it over with so I could wake up to do my drugs. Now I can go to bed with peace in my mind so I can rest. I can hold my husband with out feeling guilty that I was using. I can wake up and Smile! I used to wake up and the first thing I think about was my drugs and how fast I could get into the bathroom to take a hit. Now I wake up and the first thing I think about is my Husband and kids, and I even think about what I have scheduled for my day which is something I have not done in a long time. It is so amazing how this drug stole my soul. It bring s me to tears to know that my kids spent a year with me this way. How did they not know? How did I function? Today I am Sober. Today I am Grateful. Today I am Alive. Today I have a Husband who loves me and supports me. I am an addict, I know I have always been an addict. Or at least one with a addictive personality. But From the day I married my husband I was already abusing presc
ription medication. If I am truly honest with myself than I know that the last 26 days of my sobriety has been the only true sober days I have spent with my husband married. Sober Susie has a husband she needs to get to know and he needs to get to know her as well. I know that I have only just started working on me and I have about 30 years of growing up to do.

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